To Heck With My Cornflakes!
by Super Shayde
Summary: Summary: A sequel to Quite Sirius...Sirius and James have another one of their brilliant ideas..Yet another one of my silly challenges! Warning: Includes marmalade, cornflakes, and Smoofoo the apple. [ONE-SHOT]


To Heck With My Cornflakes! (Or a sequel to Quite Sirius!)

Summary: A sequel to Quite Sirius...Sirius and James have another one of their brilliant ideas..Yet another one of my silly challenges! Warning: Includes marmalade and cornflakes, Smoofoo the apple, Froggie the toad, more lame jokes, and James Potter the pop star.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, yak yak yak. I don't own Smoofie either, we had to name apples in health class last year and one person in my class named her apple Smoofie(R.I.P. Smoofie. Sorry her dad ate you..)! I DO own Froggie the toad..wait, no, Froggie belongs to Sirius. And one of the lame jokes belongs to the ALMIGHTY ERICA! The idea of James Potter the POP STAR belongs to MOI...(Ode to Lily! Haha, Kristen, I only used a little...I couldn't remember all the lines, and its 10:30 AM so you're at school and I couldn't ask you for it – I'm sick so I didn't hafta go. Boo.) And marmalade and cornflakes belong to whoever invented them, and the lines "And stop putting marmalade on your cornflakes" and "To heck with my cornflakes!" come from Roald Dahl's GEORGE'S MARVELOUS MEDICINE. But I do have a box of Crispix...  
  
Author's Note: If you're wondering who Mr. Moo is, that information is CLASSIFIED!

Sirius Black and James Potter waltzed down the staircases to the Great Hall together. As they reached the Almightly Hall of Food and Feasts, they grinned at each other and gave one another the thumbs-up sign.

"Hello, hello, limes and greasy men! Er, ladies and gentlemen." James bellowed(some of Sirius' lame joke-ness had rubbed off on him); Sirius, next to him, looked very dizzy and was bumping into things in his excitement.

Remus Lupin, who sat at the Gryffindor table, carefully kept his eyes on his copy of the Daily Prophet. Whatever James and Sirius were about to do was sure not to be good, but he kept his ears open. Whatever it was, even if it was pretty horrible, would probably be amusing nonetheless. He had missed out on Sirius' comedian act, which had only been the day before, as it had been a full moon, and the three's explanation for why they had missed it had been confusing and hardly made any sense, but he had caught the gist. Sirius had had another one of his brilliant ideas – and now James had one too.

"My turn first!" Peter Pettigrew heard James Potter scowl into Sirius Black's ear(Sirius was practically jumping in front of him), and Sirius grumpily sat down at the table, but in his dizziness(probably a mixture of lack of sleep and frenzied excitement), he spread marmalade all over his cornflakes while muttering to himself.

"Sirius, either shut up or speak clearly," Remus Lupin sighed, "And stop putting marmalade on your cornflakes," he added.

"To heck with my cornflakes!" Sirius screamed, jumping out of his chair and then getting up on it, eyes glittering, "I'm a stand-up comedian!" But no one noticed, everyone(besides Remus and Peter, and Frank Longbottom, as his face was now covered in Sirius' cornflakes) was gaping at James, who was about to sing, James Potter – singing?! -  
  
"I call this song 'Ode to Lily'," James introduced his song, flashing a grin at Lily Evans, who looked horrified and shrieked,

"Why, I never!"

James began to sing anyway(he was never much to care what other people thought, unless they didn't think he was amazing at Quidditch...Lily Evans didn't think anything of him at all, which he was fine with. That would all be changed soon enough! insert evil cackle).

"Your hair is like a Fwooper's feathers,

You'd live best in a home by Scottish heathers..."

James' song was taken away from the reader's attention as Sirius began to get angry that the author was making no one was pay attention to him.

"So this is what happened yesterday?" Remus asked mildly.

"Basically," Peter shrugged, "But he locked me, James, Snivelly, Lily and this Muggle boy in a restaurant and forced us to listen to more of his stupid puns...now it's the entire Great Hall; I suppose he and James are taking turns in their little acts."

Sirius pouted. He needed attention – now!

"HEY!" he bellowed, "IF A COW COMES IN AND DEMANDS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MR. MOO, HOW MANY LETTERS ARE IN THE ALPHABET?"

"...Who's Mr. Moo?" James asked, his anger at being cut off replaced with confusion.

"CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!" Sirius roared.

"I don't happen to know, how many letters in the alphabet are there if a cow comes in demanding to know what happened to Mr. Moo?" Remus asked dully, "What does a cow have to do with it?"  
  
"Don't ruin the joke, Moony!" James shushed him, but Sirius just seemed to be happy he had a chance to say the punch line.

"TWENTY-SIX!" he shrieked, grinning broadly. Nobody laughed but Dumbledore, who chuckled, eyes twinkling.

"Very amusing, Mr. Black!" he congratulated Sirius, "Thank you for making the school a lighter place as the world grows darker. I will be sure to award you a Special Service to the School."

James gaped, then scowled,

"What abou-" he started, but was interrupted as Lily Evans hexed him into next week for singing such an atrocious song in her name(as it happens, he was lost for the whole week until he found himself falling onto Severus Snape the next Monday morning).

Smoofoo the apple cried. James was her owner. Now she was sad. Boo hoo.

Froggie the toad gloated. Sirius was his owner. Now he was happy. Fun fun.

Snivellus found himself cackling madly throughout all of his classes – James Potter was finally gone..well..sort of. He was sort of upset when James Potter fell from the sky and onto his head the next Monday morning.

"Was he really mad?" Sirius grinned, asking James about his fall onto Snivelly.

"Eh..just a bit." James grinned. (Snivellus was glaring at him from across the room like a basilisk, but he didn't notice.)

THE END

Moral: Never, ever read anything like this again, until you want to be seriously – wait, SIRIUSLY – traumatized.


End file.
